Middle Age - For Better For Worse

I got asked "how old are you?" When I admitted my age – because it’s really only a number, the girl said, “Really I could have sworn you to be 27 – 29…34 WOW, I would have never guessed."

It did make me smile a bit, I will admit...

Then it hit me on my drive home…

I will be 34 October 28th – There I finally admitted it out loud…I’m getting and feeling so old and my body is screaming MY GOSH MID LIFE is rearing its ugly demon head. Hips are spreading (thank you child bearing hips) and the boobs (what little I have) are falling. Crows feet are coming along with the dark circles and the chin whiskers – WTF is that all about – chin whiskers…come on Lord, I’m not a cat and yes you do have a sense of humor but this is not funny. I don’t need whiskers anywhere on this body, no female needs that.

It’s easier for the pounds to come on and harder to take them off no matter how much I run, walk, lift, bike, play volleyball or softball, chase LM, that weight just wants to sit right on my tummy, hips, thighs and back – ewww back fat…again, WTF??

I want or demand – I can’t even say my pre-baby body because my body was SMOKING after I had LM. I actually had a 6 pack of abs. Gaining 75 pounds while pregnant and losing the 75 + 25 (while the big D set in) was GREAT for me. I was toned and in the best shape since high school. Then boom just like that COMFORT weight set in.

HELLO…I’m not comfortable with this weight so LEAVE…shoo get off my body would you?I'm telling you don’t get comfy cause I’m going to sweat; starve; jingle jangle you off this 30 something body if it kills me and yes o yes it probably will.

I only work out so I can eat those double stuff oreos for dinner and ice cream cone for dessert. The best ice cream ever is Gobs of Vanilla – which is chunks of gobs mixed in with vanilla ice cream – HEAVEN on earth I tell you. Thank you local creamy for that invention the world couldn't live without. SHEESH, what were you thinking?

So what do you do if anything to be comfortable with middle age and the demons that set in or do you not have demons rearing their ugly heads?

I workout for 60 minutes instead of eating lunch, yes, I am a fool.

A Note from Teacher

Dear DMM,

I may not have been able to get to know you very well but as of now I’m in Tx taking care of my grandfather.

I can’t tell you how much LM means to me. He is so energetic and joyful. He gives a glow every time I see him. He must have gotten that from you! When he walks into a room it just lights up. It gets dull only because he was cutting off the circulation to my brain when he gave me a hug. He may have gotten his looks from his dad but his personality is defiantly from you! Both you and LM are so sweet and full of life I know I will miss you both dearly.

LM is a good kid but he’s going to be such a lady charmer he might need to keep up the fast running he’s got going on because girls will chase him (HE HE) forever.

I have found myself at a loss of words.

Keep in touch and let me know how LM is doing.

Tell LM that I love him very much and will be thinking of him often. Again, it was great getting to know you and LM.

All my love,

A Monster Among Me

No Gym For Me

Today after pulling into a great parking space then jumping out of my car I realized my gym bag felt lighter a lot lighter then normal. I looked down to find 3 items in the bag:

My Sneakers
My Ipod
My Swimsuit

According to my standards this is NOT proper workout attire. I climbed back into my car and left heading to McD's for a Sweet Tea and chicken sandwich.

Movie Etiquette Where Have You Gone?

As another party of my little man’s birthday the boy toy and I took him to see Kung Fu Panda last night. The weather has been quite meh-blah in here parts of Western PA and I did not feel like sitting at home playing with all the noise toys. So after dinner off we went…

Ah, we were the first ones in and got our choice of seats. Not long after four more families strolled in sitting scattered through the theatre. Now, I realize it is a kids movie, therefore, there are going to be children there of all ages, what I did not expect was the behavior issues of these parents and children.

The lights were dimmed and the previews started. I hear the screaming of, “Daddy, I want popcorn.” Daddy replied with, “You just had supper.” This bantering went on for the first ten minutes of the movie. I think he finally caved because it stopped.

Then to my left a family of five, in which one of the children was coughing up a lung and much phlegm along with crocodile tears while screaming, “I want to go home.”

The cake topper was when the mother’s, of the child who wanted popcorn, cell phone went off and she answered it, loudly. Not only did she answer it but we all heard the conversation. She was supposed to be at her mother in laws. After telling the husband this and him telling her that was fine to go and he’d be okay with the kids. O my - she feels bad and what should she do?

Let me tell you, GO! No one cares how bad you feel or where you are supposed to be. All I know is that I was in that theatre trying to have a nice evening with LM. Instead I was annoyed throughout the whole movie.

After all this the family of six in front of us have an infant, an infant of no more than being nine months old who is screaming and fussing because why, she was probably board. I do not know about your children when they were nine months but I can tell you mine was not about to sit through a 90 minute movie. So instead of taking her out they let her scream put her down and let her roll around on the floor. Nice, eh?

Again, I understand this was a children’s film and my child can certainly cut up and carry on at the most inopportune time however, when in that type of situation I would have marched his little dupa outside and told him to knock it off.

Instead, he was the best behaved sitting in his seat not moving or making a sound other than to laugh when Po was cracking a joke or being silly.

When we got to the car, LM commented on how bad the other kids were. Made me smile that he realizes you are to be quiet and respectful of others in a movie type setting.

Next time, I won’t be so child or adult friendly.