In my little world "I am Queen"

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


A friend went to the Hawaiian-themed wedding this weekend, what a train wreck that whole event was!!!

I will let her tell the story and it begins...here...

I don’t even know where to begin. Should I start with her bouquet and how it had Christmas lights in it and lit up? Should I talk about how there was a break in the service where they played Madonna’s “Crazy for You” and I don’t mean played it on the organ or piano, I mean queued up the CD and played it. We could talk about how they did their own vows and he referred to her in his as “my pebble” which caused me to have an uncontrollable fit of laughter where I had the stomach spasm and couldn't stop laughing. We could talk about the centerpieces which featured live goldfish! Or the six-foot-tall neon light palm tree. We could talk about the wedding dress that ripped because it was-er-uh-ill fitting. Or the bride’s fake hair which didn’t even come close to matching her real hair. We could talk about the mobster tuxedos. You see there is just too much, oh there was also a fog machine and a fountain—in the cake! Too much. I just don’t even know where to begin or what to say about it. So trainwreckalicious! Who does that? Why would you want that for your wedding? I hope people don’t talk about my wedding this way!

Trainwreckalicious is the best word I could use to describe the festivities because it is just a comic goldmine. Although I did have to learn where to draw the line. I referred to my fiance on Sunday as “my pebble” and to say he was less than amused would be an understatement. I told a co-worker the whole story yesterday and she didn’t believe me because she said no one could possibly have a wedding like that. Oh but they did and I will have pictures soon to prove it! The left no tacky stone unturned. The whole thing was nutty. They had both the ceremony and reception at the local college hall. How about right after they played Madonna—in the chapel—they took communion!!! I was totally in a state of shock for the whole wedding that is when I couldn’t stop laughing. A friend of mine asked if they got the Madonna song off of a mixed tape they made from GLU 92 in 1985. Too funny.

The reception was out of this world too, from the moment I signed the guest book with the pink flamingo pen, dropped my card in the tiki idol cardboard box (very reminiscent of the Brady Bunch’s trip to Hawaii), got my stupid Hawaiian lei—that of course came with the joke—you just got laid. Like I didn’t see that one coming. I sat down in front of the metallic palm tree and goldfish centerpiece to eat dinner. I will say this…the food was fantastic and the cake was really good too. It all just kept spiraling downward from there though from their first dance to “Leather and Lace” to about the third time that I heard “Kokomo” by the Beach Boys—which I hate that song, it is like a form of torture for me. On the plus side, they did seem very happy and I guess that is the point. Although they apparently went out afterwards to a bar in the dress and tux…a little starved for attention if you ask me but oh well.

The whole thing was unbelievable, although here is one more appalling tidbit, the groom’s brother is handicapped, he uses a walker as a result of a bad car accident years ago so where do they seat him? In the very back of the room at table 20! What is wrong with people? That’s just mean! I knew this wedding was going to be a bit over the top but I truly had no idea what I was in for! It was simply trainwreckalicious!

I was fundamentally opposed to the goldfish on the table. I am told that they went to live in her aunt’s pond after the wedding but I will be honest, I am not so sure they made it that far. I am betting some of them made it to the bathroom at the Reception hall.

However, none were named Tammy…


Friday, September 14, 2007

A Fish named...Tammy

Despite of all the crazy drama going on in my little world with my mom and her injuries I decided to take a much needed break and take LM to the Cambria County Fair. Let me tell you of all the sites I took in that evening – H O L Y. Not that I think I am anything rather special because I certainly am NOT but some people’s kids. W O W

Also, my younger sister, Darcy, has a bit of a horse fetish and was showing her horse and talent off that week so we went in support of her. T & I loaded up the SUV and headed for the hills last Friday night.

After a few rides and some games, LM took it upon himself to do the ball toss, win a fish game. All I could think of was GREAT along with the chances of him getting this ping pong ball in this itty bitty fish bowl is a mere chance of 1 in 20 – since he only had 20 balls.

Dang it if the girl didn’t feel bad and gave LM a fish after all 20 balls were bounced in, out and in between the bowls and wooden planks. At that time, what is a mother to do squash her little darling’s heart and say thanks but no thanks, I don’t think. So yes, we took the fish.

As we are leaving, we decided to detour through the steel buildings so LM wouldn’t see the rides he spent hours running back and forth in between only to hit the candy store. I agree to buy him multi-colored fish for being so good.

As I’m waiting in line I hear splat and look over to see a dropped fish bag with water running out as if the Hoover Damn exploded. The fish flows out of the bag onto the floor flipping around backwards somersaults and all. T goes to pick up the fish and it is slippery then snot and is getting away, thankfully, a younger kid comes over and scoops the fish right up.

In the meantime, LM sticks out his bottom lip and begins to wail while holding onto my leg for comfort. T takes the fish and heads back to the stand only to save the day by getting a new fish for LM.

LM’s hero…

The fish now sits on our counter in a Tupperware dish since I have no other type of bowl to date and Oliver’s bowl got broken when a couple of kids got crazy out of hand playing ball in the house – which is a story for another day.

Last but not least, as we’re leaving the fair, I asked LM what he was going to name is fish and he replies…Tammy.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Life changes in a split second

  • Click here as you will find yourself reading about the emotional rollercoaster ride my family took this weekend.
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    Thursday, September 06, 2007

    Just Ramblings

    I guess you could say I took a bit of time to break from blogging. Work is going crazy as I am scrambling to get the renewal policies out and I have 3 puzzle pieces missing. Now we learned of a new insurance we need and that project is going to all array.

    I am hoping by Monday all will be together and a huge box of goodies will be shipped off to our wonderful broker for the dismantling to begin.

    Therapy is going exceptionally well. I am over 160 degrees for ROM and I have started training to strengthen the surgical area. On Wednesday I woke up, jumped in the shower and got dressed all the while thinking – hold on – something is missing – after some heavy thoughts it was the pain. After roughly 8 months of pain – I have none other then when I lay on my shoulder to sleep, which is still just surgery pain.

    I got to see my before and after pictures of the surgery and let’s just say there was a lot of junk floating around in those regional areas. I have a month until I see the good ole doctor to hear his version.

    I am hoping to be released at the end of the month so I can get back into volleyball mode. Our women’s league starts soon and I’m ready. Actually, doing anything at this point would be great – reason #8576 I will be the local gym’s newest member come Monday evening.

    I was not happy with the new gym as the equipment is old and the building is run down. When my shoulder went to hell I decided to take a break from well everything and now I’m regretting it. After much research I have decided to join the local gym to crank out a workout in the evenings everyday. I can’t wait to see how that goes.

    Hopefully I’ll get this old body back in shape before the holiday season creeps up only to bite me in the ass. Not to mention I need to be swimsuit ready in January for the Bahamas. AAArrrgggg.

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