A Playar In the Making

Last week, as I am getting LM ready for school he requests to have his hair spiked; like SD Terry’s. What is a mom to do but oblige. As I’m spiking his hair he looks into the mirror smiles and puts his hands on his hips forms a gun like shape with his fingers and begins to swivel his hips while saying in a hot sexy six year old voice, “HELLOOOOO LAAAAADIES.”

First of all a six year old should NOT have a sexy voice! Secondly, there is no reason he should even know he has hips to swivel.

I did not know whether I should laugh, cringe or cry. I did neither. I just calmly said, “Where in the world did you learn that?” Quickly and innocently he said, “Momma, my brain tells me what to say and how to move.”

I am raising a soon to be playar…

For Me?`

We were out to dinner with the men's softball crowd on Friday...the local Blvd Grille is the men's sponsor so we dine there often as our thank you for the money to play.

Our usual conversation got a little edgy but we were careful not to insult the adorable 5 year old with us. As we are talking about an old friend's house party it was mentioned that he brought out a box of "adult toys." Do not even ask why he brought them out as it has been three weeks and we are still wondering the same thing.

My friend John brought up the "box of toys" and we of course all laughed about it and were joking around when Ty looked up at the crowd of men and as if on queue said "for me?" "Mom a box of toys for me?"

The conversation went something like this:

John: What is he doing with that "box of toys?"

Me: Who knows it creeped me out. Especially in a house they are trying to sell.

John: Having a full box of toys is just weird.

Me: Well, I'm glad it's his box of toys. There are too many "toys" for one person I think.

In chimes the 5 year old:

Ty: A box of toys "for me?"

Of course he bats his baby blues and has a huge grin on his face - as if it were Christmas Day.

Laughter filled the outdoor deck area...

Ty: Mom why is your face all red??

Let's just say the conversation quickly changed to something else from the "box of toys."

Your so Vein you probably think this post is about you...well it is!

If it is one thing that parenting as taught me it is never to underestimate the brilliant mind of your child when it comes to witty comments or comebacks.

I was on the couch the other night with my little man watching his favorite cartoons of course (thank you to the BOOM Channel and Direct TV) when I looked over at him and this conversation took place:

T: "Mom, why do you keep on staring at me?"

Me: "What I'm not allowed to look at my child?"

T: "O, I know why you stare at me."

Me: "O yea, why?"

T: "Because I'm cute!"

As he hides his face in the pillow grinning ear to ear.

A Son's Love is Announced

Every morning when I drop Ty off for school I always say - "Remember how much I love you... from here to the moon!" Then I shower him with a few hugs and kisses - got to get them all in now because when he is older he is not going to let that happen at all.

Well, this morning was no different, I walked him to the doors of the school, rang the bell and said, "Ok buddy, remember how much I love you - from here to the moon!"

He returned with saying, "Well Mom, I LOVE YOU...from here to the grass."

Raising a Pimp Daddy Toddler

I have learned over the weekend I have my hands full – full of a pimp daddy toddler. It all began at a birthday party for a little girl in LM’s class at the local Chuck E Cheese. Of course, being the great mommy that I am took LM to have pizza and cake with the mouse. It was lovely and loud at the same time.

Imagine a bazillion kids all running around screaming at the same time while game noise is going wild. “Toddlers Gone Wild” film at 11. That place is nuts – a gold mine, I tell you.

Now, the party is over and it’s time to go, I begin to gather the treat bag and jacket, when I swing around I see LM smooching with “J” and several other girls. There is a line, no lie either, a line of girls all waiting to kiss LM.

J’s mother and I made it into a joke thankfully. I told her he’s just practicing for his high school days and she laughing saying well her dear daughter is a hussy at the age of 5 and kisses all the boys.

After the entourage of girls followed LM to the door and we got out alive I asked him who they all were he calmly looked at me and said, Mom, my girlfriends. As if, I should have known all that.

Later that evening, I invited over friends of ours for a play date when “H” no sooner walked in the door and LM asked, “Hey H, you wanna see my room?” - This was asked before she even had her shoes off. I froze as did H’s mom and both asked, “did we hear that right?”

I am raising a pick up artist and he is in his prime at the age of four.

Engaged

Last night, he sat beside me holding my hand on the couch talking about how much he loved me and thought I was the greatest. I looked into those baby blues of his, melted while smiling then kissed him on the cheek professing my love as well and that is when it happened...

"Mommy, will you marry me?"

"Of course, I'll marry you."

I H.E.A.R.T this child of mine.

The Mother of all Emails

I got an email today...

Your son was playing with his stuffed animal last night and said,
"I'm going to kick your ass!"

As if that is my fault...I am not much of a swearer and neither is the father - however, daycare is a cruel thing.

This couldn't be learned from the child who said "shit" and sat in timeout the other day, could it?

Kids and the funny things they say

This weekend was nothing but laughter throughout with my LM and I as we conversed back and forth. I thought I would share some of the comments from the weekend.

When I picked him up from school and got him home, I explained that mommy had surgery and had 3 boo boos on her belly. He looked at me deep in thought and asked to see the boo boos. He asked what happened. At that time, I explained the doctor put a needle in mommy's belly to fix her and covered them with band aides.

I thought he was okay with this explanation. Grandma came over to visit - he told her that, "mommy has boo boos and the doctor stuck her in the belly button covering it up with a band aide so her insides wouldn't ooze out."

Quite ingenious since I never said anything to him about my insides oozing out. He is however, quite fascinated with the boo boos as he's telling everyone, "mommy has 3 boo boos, you should see them."

I however, decline to show anyone when LM sends out the request.

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Saturday was your typical day. I decided enough lying around it's time to get cracking on the cleaning. LM loves to be mommy's little helper. He followed me around all morning with a little broom sweeper asking, "what else can I sweep up?"

I thought, enjoy this moment now because when he's 10 this won't be happening.

I was cleaning the bathroom before bed, putting one of those lovely blue tablets in the potty, ya know, to make the water pretty and make the porcelain sparkle. However, silly me, did this without my child's knowledge.

Sunday morning LM wakes and rushes off to do his thing - I hear the lid lift and a scream of "Holy Cow, mom - the water is blue." I tell him it's fine and to just do his thing...he does, then afterwards shouts of, "Mom, come here now, the water is green!"

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Sunday I had a girls pasta luncheon with 3 of my dearest friends and their children. About an hour into their visit my precious darling decided to tell them all "TO LEAVE, as they were in the way of his playing at the park time."

We all just kinda giggled at him and he said, "Mommy, why won't they leave? I really want to go to the park."

My friends daughter got the flu at the last minute and couldn't come. LM was sad as the other two children there were under the age of 2. He was quite bored and had serious sad face. He kept saying, "mommy why didn't my friend come over?"

After about another hour of visiting, I did take him to the park where we played baseball and ran wild for the remainder of the night.

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Kids are hysterical if you let them just ramble on about whatever. I find myself writing down the things LM says and does throughout our days. There is never a dull moment and he is truly my best friend.

LM - even though you are to tiny to read, someday when you are able you'll laugh at all the things you did and said at the rightful age of 3.5!

I am blessed to have you - my darling little man. I love you with all my heart!!